It has been a cold winter in NYC this year. More snow than I can ever remember. More desire to just get under the covers, stay warm, read, drink tea… in other words… Hibernate. This has been a season which reminds us we have to slow down…. snow and ice make it so. Travel…even every day travel is challenging. The first few wisps of Spring now have come wafting through…the ice is cracking and I am so ready to put all my boots… even the three pairs I got half price last week… away for the season.
So now the question rises to the top.. have I really been hibernating? Or have I been hiding out? How have i really rested and honored my body and its rhythm, let alone the rhythm of the earth in these past few months… How have I instead.. slowed down but not really rejuvinated?
So the idea that I could make the most of this transition from winter to spring occurs to me. It is time to balance a bit of "being" with the "doing" that I have been keeping myself busy with… Doing can make it easy to ignore the "being." That is to feel my feelings, to go within. That which should be so natural.. is often set aside in the name of moving ahead and achieving and success. But there really cannot be true success if it is not streaming through our souls.
Truly being… I find… is demanding that I make space in my life.. in my physical, emotional and soul life.. for what lies ahead. So it is time to come out of hiding and let go of what is not serving me in this life…Time is shorter than we think! We cannot afford to wait! Really.
I lost two of my dearest elders this winter… and I lost of lot of my own father too this year as age continues to claim him. I think I accept this all much less gracefully than they do….In addition to my own dad, these two other men were like fathers to me. They looked out for me, they saw the best in me, they believed in me, and they loved me rather unconditionally. It was their time… I miss them… as I miss so many who have gone before- my own mother included. I feel them around always… but still it is not always the same. As he was dying, my dear friend Harold, would cheer me on.. "Doll," he would say- "Go- Dream- Do- While You Still Can- Don't miss a moment of it… Do not hang around people or jobs or anything that do not serve you. Cut em out! Do not hesitate! You cannot afford it!." Al, who just died yesterday at the age of 77, I found out had a massive coronary 22 years ago and flatlined. He then was revived and remained in a coma for a week and had open heart surgery and came out of it …. cursing like a sailor! That is pretty amazing in medical standards for 22 years ago… But he got another shot… and was the most supportive, caring, loving man. He and his wife are just amazing, giving people. They knew they were on borrowed time and it ran out yesterday morning when she leaned over in bed to find that he had passed quietly with a smile on his face.
So what will we learn then. It is simply too easy to say we have to live while we can. But maybe it is easier to think about disentangling ourselves so we can be free to say yes… and love our lives and the adventures ahead even more. I for one… am sick of those piles and projects that are not done; I am tired of pouring energy -good after bad – into situations that bear no fruit… and so I think it is time to clean our proverbial houses.. Spring Cleaning….. Deep Cleaning… Don't know about you.. but I got a lot of adventuring to do! See you out there!
Going Quantum with You!
Marilena
