28 Days That Will Change Your Life
Whether you are of a mind, heart or culture to celebrate a day such as Valentine’s Day or not, it certainly can be a time of year to reflect on the most important relationship of your life… the one you have with yourself.
As the media “build -up” of this holiday unfolds, it is easy to feel “less than,” especially if you are not in a fulfilling intimate or romantic relationship. The hype of “perfect love out there” can distract us from staying connected to and caring for ourselves. The tendency will be to bury our feelings, and if we are already overwhelmed, out of balance, unhappy and in a place of ignoring our emotional needs, we will cut ourselves off even more from a primary source of love… our self-love.
I suggest the antidote for any of this begins with coming back to center and celebrating yourself.
I recently came across notes from a transformative workshop I gave years ago called Love Letters to Yourself™. The challenge was to write a love note to yourself every day for 28 days.
The goal of this Self-Care workshop is to reduce/eliminate negative self-talk and to increase self-compassion and self-appreciation. Similar to a gratitude practice, participants are asked to focus on some aspect of themselves daily for which they are thankful and to express it in writing.
I am posing this challenge to you, my dear Coaches, as a loving practice… feel free to use it solo or get accountable with your buddy coach. Share it with your clients and let me know what happens.
- Begin by committing to this 28-day practice. Pick a time of day that works for you – it does not have to be the same each day or a span of hours and hours… just some uninterrupted time.
- A great way to start is to buy yourself some greeting cards of love or get some inspiring stationary. Using a journal or even an electronic file is fine as long as you commit to the writing.
- You can use an open format and freely write what comes to mind or use the suggestions below for inspiration.
- Always address your note lovingly to yourself…. And ALWAYS sign it: I love you, ( your name).
Some suggested topics:
-Choose a quality about yourself you admire and how you express it in your life: i.e. Sweetness, kindness, sense of humor, make others feel at home.
-Pick one thing about your body that you like, admire think is beautiful and or sexy. Go on a bit about it… your eyes, your toes, your hands … anything. Then work toward the parts you don’t like, love or appreciate and talk about how they do serve you.
-Choose something from your past that you regret. Write about it and write a include forgiving yourself (and perhaps the other person) for your role in it and try to reframe the event in a positive way or talk about what you learned from it.
At the end of the day… our capacity to love others in a healthy way directly stems from our ability to love ourselves. This can be hard for those of us raised to love and serve everyone else first.
When we love others as we love ourselves, love can flow from an abundant place. If we depend on others to love us or to make up for how we are NOT loving ourselves… we will always come up short and that don’t ever feel good!
We teach others how to love us by showing them how we love and respect ourselves. When we are “vibing” from that place, we will attract the kind of love and friendship that will nourish us best.
Not sure where to start? Just write yourself a little love note… and see what flows from there….
Happy Love Day, Everyone!